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An Open Letter to Eddie Van Halen

Posted by jhochstat on March 27, 2008

On the list of the 25 albums that should NOT have been recorded, #13 Van Halen III has an open letter to Eddie Van Halen in addition to the commentary.

Here is the letter in its entirety

(An open letter to Eddie Van Halen)

Dear Eddie,

You don’t know me, but I was one of your biggest fans. (Stress on the word “was.”) Face it, poncho, you were the shit. Other than Hendrix, what other person was so identifiable with the rock guitar other than you? Your opening riff to “Mean Streets” still boggles my mind!!!

But why are you such a control-freak asshole? We know that Dave’s a jerk-off and you probably won’t work with him again. But come on, dude, Sammy’s a nice guy. Bury the hatchet already!!! Just make peace with him, put some beer in your belly and get up on stage and shred!

I just don’t like the guy you’ve become, my little Eddie. Coming from a fan, you really need to pull yourself together. Stop being an ass, m’kay?

Your friend,

Mike McHone

P.S. Although you’re a great guitarist, I still say the best thing you ever fingered was Valerie Bertinelli.


6 Responses to “An Open Letter to Eddie Van Halen”

  1. Mas said

    Hey Mike Mchone

    In reference to your open letter to Eddie; I have to agree that the opening rifs to mean streets is incredible and at 41 years old, there is nothing like that entire album, certainly one of VH best.
    I would even go as far to say that Dave was probably a punk as well, but I am not sure if you will agree that if you have ever met any or known a “Dave”, they are a breed of their own, I knew a few, and while knowing them, there was always and I mean always a time that I would look at each one of them and say, “Man, you are such a Dave!!!” Good people mind you, but boneheads.
    Now, about the “control-freak asshole” comment to Eddie. You have to understand Eddie. He is Dutch. If you have spent anytime with these people (I dated a Dutch women & visited Holland often) than you would understand Eddie a bit more.
    I must agree that Eddie is the Shiznit and plays a Fender Strat like no other, but just about every Dutch person, mostly in their own country, are complete arrogant assholes. So, on Eddie’s behalf, he is not just being a control-freak asshole, he is just being himself,…..a Dutchman, who plays a mean FUC@#$% guitar.
    The arrogance; I can give him for what he did (most likely wont again) however, for the asshole part, well,….it’s just what, not who, but what…….

    He is simply just,….. Dutch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Alstublieft (Please)

    Dank u wel (thank you very much)



    P.S. I also agree with you about Valerie. 🙂

  2. strat78 said

    You asshole, how can you say those things to the greatest fukn guitar player/rock n roll song writer that’s ever lived? Until you have walked the walk like Ed has don’t sit there and shit talk him..

    Anybody who knows anything about anything knows what he’s given us over the years. Van Halen songs are timeless, his riffs, chops, charisma in his playing are second to none.. Better listen to all the early albums again and pay attention to all the nuances in his playing. Maybe you’ll get it…. Maybe not…

  3. danny said

    I admire him from his innovations and unique guitar playing. I dont give a sh&*T about his personal life. EVH is still the greatest guitar player of all time. I have seen some players played very fast , very aggresive, but none of them can get the feeling the way EVH express on his guitar.

  4. Jayson said

    What I know about Van Halen…By: Jayson Gennaro 36

    I spent most of my life listening to a wide variety of music. Both of my Parents were Hippies. Saw my first concert at the tender age of four (Steve Miller 1975)(Jethro Tull 1975)(Elton John 1976)(Queen 1977)(Van Halen 1979)(The Who 1980)(Sammy Hagar 1980)(Van Halen 1980)(Ozzy & Motley Crue 1983)(YES 1984)(Sammy Hagar 1984)(Van Halen 1984)(Van Halen 1987)(Def Leppard 1987)(Van Halen 1989)(White Snake 1990)(Van Halen 1992)(Guns and Roses 1993)(Van Halen 1993)(Sammy Hagar 1995)(Sammy Hagar 1997)(Sammy Hagar & Diamond Dave What I dub the NO VAN BAND TOUR 2001)(Van Halen 2004) Do you see a pateren???

    Now like the rest of you I too have an oppinion…..

    1. Leave the wife out……She has no business in this.. and by involving her your being a total Dave!

    2. Eddie’s Decent has nothing to do with his business desicissions what so ever. I know cause I’ve lived there 3yrs.

    3. Van Halen will never be a group/band/team ever as long as Eddie does’t let the control go and share the band.

    4. Wolfgang……Want a be a big boy rock-n-roller?????
    Get your own band quit following in your fathers shadow…
    drop out of school start your own band and struggle like he did.
    then I’ll respect you….Maybe!

    5.David Lee Roth……….GROW UP!

    6.Michael Anthony………Is Van Halen’s Only Bassist EVER! Miss you Brother!

    8.Alex……This is your band too Speak up!

    9.Sammy Hagar……..What can I say??????YOU ROCK MAN! hence the name RED ROCKER!!!! I wish thing were different and you were with Van Halen but Hey…..We all know you were the Best front man of all!

    10. Last But not Leaste….Eddie……………………
    I love you man you’ve been mine and now my sons inspiration in playing Guitar and even thou we’ll never play as good as you.
    We’ll Kick your ass in guitar hero!!!!!!……Not! No really man…..I hope you get it together..a man is not defined by what he has….But, mearly what he does with it. don’t be affraid to do whats right for everyone….be remembered for your positive contributions to the world…Not your self. you are the only one who knows can change. you are always in my prayers….I hope you trully find fun again.

  5. mitzi said

    I think somebody needs to buy the boy some shoes. And, while they are at it, they could recommend a good dentist. He could be better. He could be great, again….. He just needs a little help from his friends. Does he have any real ones, or just hanging on fans who don’t care if his life is going into the crapper? Eddie, you played every mood of my life all the while I was living it. Peace.

  6. robynn said

    guys, dont be so hard on ed.
    im only 15 years old and he has been my inspiration since i was a wee one
    he is the sexiest man alive (i know guys that agree with me) andthe sounds he gets out of that guitar. a guitar is oonly a piece of fukn wood, til the rite player comes along and squeezes those sounds out of it.
    hes had a pretty hard life, if i were in van halen, i would listen to ed. he the person that took them everywhere

    sure..daves a pretty good siinger, tony is a good bass player, and alex, amazing drum player, if they had a half ass guitarist, would we know who they are? he is still my hero, even though he has fukd up pretty badly, whats he supposed to learn from?
    leave him alone, id like to see you rock out like he does. i fukn challenge you.

    wolfie- call me:P

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